I accidentally burped into my bong.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
