I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
