i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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