I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize