i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
