Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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