the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize