OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
