I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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