Please, let me fuck your mom
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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