Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize