You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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