...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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