Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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