Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
