dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
