What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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