I can tuck mytits in my pants
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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