Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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