put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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