just come out here and I will go home with you...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
