sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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