I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
