I want to have your abortion
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
