If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
