I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
okay pat passed out under dana's car
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize