Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
