when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
