I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
