dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
