shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
