Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
