apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
