At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
