its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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