Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
