Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
