How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
