Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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