shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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