at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
