Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
