you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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