Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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