i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
