yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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