I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize