I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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