he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
