I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
