We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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