He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
