u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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