I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
