I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
