My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
