No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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