i can't believe i had my finger in that
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
