then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
