Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
