woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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