Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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