They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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