plz talk dirty to me
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
