people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
